80 of The Funniest ‘What Do You Call’ Jokes You Need to Hear

Last Updated on November 6, 2021

In the exquisite words of American journalist Linda Ellerbee, “I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.”

Linda is a firm believer that the dark moments in life allow us to appreciate and enjoy the glorious moments when they come. In addition, she opines that there is no greater sound than the shout of joy itself: Laughter! She genuinely believes that we owe it to ourselves to savor the joyous moments in life.

In my honest opinion, the power of laughter is one of the greatest binding forces out there. Laughter connects people of diverse backgrounds, be it social or economic. The power of laughter cannot be overstated. As is often said, “nothing is as contagious as a smile.”

For as long as I can remember, the easiest way to share laughter has always been by telling a good joke to others. Luckily, that’s what this article is all about: jokes that will have you spreading laughter and joy in no time.

What Do You Call Jokes

Without further ado, here are the funniest “what do you call” jokes you’d hear today.

  1. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  2. What do you call an artist who only draws fun pictures of cars? A car-toonist.
  3. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
  4. What do you call a pretentious criminal walking down a staircase? A condescending con, descending.
  5. What do you call shoes that spies wear?
  6. What do you call twin dinosaurs? A pair-odactyls.
  7. What do you call a Spanish guy who has been discharged from hospital? Manuel.
  8. What do you call a pig who is sleeping? A pig-in-a-blanket.
  9. What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
  10. What do you call a skeleton in freezing temps? A numbskull.
  11. What do you call a monkey that loves Pringles? A chipmonk.
  12. What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere? A refrigerator.
  13. What do you call a fly which has no wings? A walk.
  14. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
  15. What do you call the lights on Noah’s ark?
  16. What do you call something easy to get into but hard to get out of?
  17. What do you call a joke you make in the shower? A clean joke.
  18. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
  19. What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice? Cold hard cash.
  20. What do you call a joke without a punchline?
  21. What do you call a pig who is also a thief? A hamburglar.
  22. What do you call a dead pine tree? A never-
  23. What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? A sherbet.
  24. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  25. What do you call a pencil that is broken?
  26. What do you call a cat on the rocks? One cool cat.
  27. What do you call the security guards outside the Samsung factory? The Guardians of the Galaxy.
  28. What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
  29. What do you call two birds in love?
  30. What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
  31. What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen? An iWitness.
  32. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A steak out.
  33. What do you call a sad coffee?
  34. What do you call someone who never passes gas in public? A private tutor.
  35. What do you call a priest who becomes an attorney? Father-in-law.
  36. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A cell-fie.
  37. What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
  38. What do you call blackbirds that stick together? Vel-crows.
  39. What do you call a dancing lamb? A baaaaaaa-llerina.
  40. What do you call the daughter of a hamburger?
  41. What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
  42. What do you call a tiny mother? A minimum.
  43. What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are just OK? A satis-
  44. What do you an aardvark is three-feet-long? A yard-
  45. What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree? A branch manager.
  46. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
  47. What do you call someone who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A mer-maid.
  48. What do you call a deer that only costs a dollar? A buck.
  49. What do you call something that goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
  50. What do you call a dog that’s freezing? A chilli dog.
  51. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URL-ologist.
  52. What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A hobby horse.
  53. What do you call an M&M that went to college? A Smartie.
  54. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
  55. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore.
  56. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
  57. What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate? Spruce Lee.
  58. What do you call a meditating wolf? Aware wolf.
  59. What do you call a piece of sad fromage? Blue cheese.
  60. What do you call a pile of cats?
  61. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
  62. What do you call a very cool rabbit? A hip-hopper.
  63. What do you call a baby polar bear? An ice-cub.
  64. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day? A frisbee.
  65. What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A sand witch.
  66. What do you call a camel with no humps?
  67. What do you call a key that opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey.
  68. What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line.
  69. What do you call a cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese.
  70. What do you call an owl that’s a magician? Whooooo-dini.
  71. What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A moosician.
  72. What do you call a panda bear that never wants to grow up? Peter Panda.
  73. What do you call a Jedi with one arm? Hand Solo.
  74. What do you call shorts that clouds wear?
  75. What do you call a dinosaur with a large vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  76. What do you call an argument between two electric companies? A power struggle!
  77. What do you call a sleeping wolf? An unawarewolf.
  78. What do you call milk that gets anything it wants? Spoiled milk.
  79. What do you call a chubby pumpkin? A plumpkin.
  80. What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the Pope? Holy guacamole.

Wrap Up

You cannot deny that laughter is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person in the fullness of time. The fact that you can be responsible for another person’s happiness, as well as the joyous smiles on their face, is utterly riveting. Just as anger can easily be spread from place to place, it goes double for laughter. As is often said, “a good laugh can get you out of the most compromising situations.”

To this end, I leave you with the wise words of Mark Twain. “Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

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